In discharge of Miss Cozzarelli, I guess she was very nervous and didn’t know what to say. But I am also relieved because who needs to study when you are so beautiful?

Step One: Join the army, but never –and listen well NEVER- do anything very demanding as learn military strategy or perform well in the shooting range, those are the kind of things that never put you in the high positions where you want to be. Instead spend as much time as you can praising your commander and making good barbecues for the rest of your superiors.   

Step Two: When you have enough troops under your control and have a high support between your comrades in arms, plan to overthrow the government and call it “revolution”. To do it more appealing for international media (and this is very important remember if it is not in internet it is not happening) add it some adjective after the word revolution. It could be the fuchsia revolution or the zucchini revolution; whatever you invent, it will be just fine. Repeat step two as many times as necessary until you become successful.  

Step Three: Once you are in the power, claim that you do all for your huge love for your people. At the same time close independent newspapers, tv channels, unions, and all other organizations that don’t like you.   

Step Four: Denounce the excess of capitalism and international media, and proclaim that Western democracies are dying. But remember this rules don’t apply to you, after all special people like you deserve special rules, so you can visit Disneyland as you always do, watch Hollywood movies in the private cinema of your presidential palace and drive your brand new Ferrari. 

Step Five: It have been almost a year since you arrive to the presidency. Now two things can happen:

Option number one: There is another revolution and you are defeated and spend the rest of your life in a golden exile living in your mansion of the French Rivera with the several million dollars hard earned during this last year.

Option number two: You defeat the new revolution and for the next 40 years become a democratically elected president that always win with the 99.9% of the votes, spend the rest of your life with a golden lifestyle exile in your mansion of the French Rivera and the several million dollars hard earned during the last 40 years this last year.

As you can see it is not hard at all, so what are you waiting for to inscribe your name in the history of some country, whose name you can barely pronounce.

But the best of all is the music. In fact the music is so good, that if I were president of any country I would proclaim the music of the good, the bad, and the ugly as the national anthem. Can you imagine an international match of any sport and you have to play against a team that plays that music before any game?

This article was a contribution of our invited blogger, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.